Tears running down my cheeks, I held the hot water bottle tightly against my stomach and curled up my body in extreme pain. It was 2 o'clock in the morning and I was still not able to sleep. Nothing seemed to work, sleeping in a fetal position, using the hot bag, or even taking ibuprofen for the second time in the day. Every five minutes I got chills all over my body and my cramps caused nausea, vomiting, and dizziness. This wasn't something that happened once. I would have to be prepared for this every month and for this reason, I had started fearing my menstruation. Everything felt unfair. "Why me of all the people? None of my friends get these severe cramps  but, then why does my life has to be this way every time  ?"These kinds of questions and a lot of negative thoughts filled up my mind. This had become quite a problem for me until 11thgradewhen an incident totally changed the way I saw menstruation. After my board examinations, I got an opportunity to travel to the Far-Western Development Region along with my family. We visited a number of districts but the small village of Sunkuda in the Bajang district, particularly, made my traveling experience an unforgettable one. While on our stay at one of the local’s houses, for the first time in my life, I witnessed the incidence of the Chhaupadi system. I was shocked when the youngest daughter of the family, Dolma had to stay in a small cattle shed called the “menstrual hut”, for six days during her monthly menstruation.

From the beginning of our stay, Dolma became a really good friend of mine. Though smaller than me in age, she was mature both physically and emotionally. We spent time together and I was truly enjoying her company until the 3rd day of our trip when she had her menstruation. After that, she wasn’t allowed to enter the house or go to school and had to stay in the menstrual hut all the time. I was shocked to hear from her mother that she wasn’t allowed to eat a healthy diet during her periods and food had to be given to her without touching her because she was considered “impure” at that time. The rest of the days, I missed Dolma’s presence in the house. I went to visit her in the shed but she wouldn’t show up because she was shy of her menstruation. I had heard about the Chhaupadi system many times in the news but never imagined it to be this critical. I shivered even at the thought of having to spend menstrual days in a cold shed like that, abandoned from home and family. My heart cried for Dolma and all the other women in Sunkuda who had to go through such deplorable experiences every month in their lives. Still, they had accepted it as a part of their culture and learned to live with the pain without even complaining. 

It has already been two years after my visit to Bajang, but the memories that I have of that place and Dolma are vivid in my mind. Reflecting on it, it’s moments like these that forever impact us. The things in life that cause the greatest problems end up shaping us if we try to find the lesson it is trying to teach us. Now, every time I have my periods, I feel grateful, not because I get less painful cramps but, because I am in my warm bed, in my room and my loved ones are there around me and to take care of me. I have learned to embrace the pain for everyone is created differently and life serves equally to all. But the problem is we often tend to add up to our own sufferings by being overly sensitive, taking things too personally, and underestimating the value of things around us in a way that I did.

- Simran KC

YALC Kathmandu 2022